One of the key phrases that crops up again and again among top motivational speakers such as Jim Rohn and Tony Robbins is the idea that “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Let’s look at this in a little more detail.
The Law of Averages
This idea comes from the Law of Averages, a theory which says that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes. In practice this means that when it comes to our relationships, careers, our self-esteem and our personality traits we are a product of those people we choose to surround ourselves with the most.
Exercise 1
Let’s try a small exercise. Grab a piece of paper or open your phone and note down the names of the five people that you spend the most time around. These people could be your family, your friends, co-workers, or someone else.
Now, ask yourself about the personality traits of those people. How would you choose to describe them? Are they positive? Kind? Creative? Ambitious? Enthusiastic? Negative? Bossy? Critical? Arrogant? What do they do with their lives and how successful have they been in pursuing their goals?
Now stare back at your list and consider it carefully. If the traits are overwhelmingly negative, then perhaps it’s time to consider finding new people to spend more of your time with? After all, if you spend a lot of time with these people then you likely mirror a lot of these undesirable traits too. This doesn’t mean that you have ditch those people out of your life, rather that you should seek out new influences to start to tip the scales in your favour.
Exercise 2
Now let’s perform a second exercise. Write down adjectives that describe an imaginary mentor or friend that you would like to bring in to your circle of five. What words would you use to describe them? Seeking out and spending more time with positive influences is a key part of personal growth, so consider who you know that matches up to your description of your imaginary mentor – it’s time to start spending more time with them!
What do you think of this theory? Have you seen results by adopting this strategy? Let us know by connecting with us on Twitter @TimeForYouGroup.
